There is a dangerous culture quietly destroying the future of many Nigerian children, and sadly, some parents are unknowingly responsible.
In the name of love, protection and giving their children everything they never had, many parents are raising young adults who cannot survive without financial support, who see hard work as punishment and who believe luxury is their birthright.
A child who grows up with a driver, expensive cars, unlimited pocket money, first-class flights and every problem solved by Mummy and Daddy may struggle badly when real life eventually comes knocking.
This is not about being rich. It is about raising responsible human beings.
The idea of “I don't want my children to pass through the hardship that I was brought up with” is killing the future of so many children.
You may think you are giving your child the best life, but are you actually preparing that child to survive life without you?
I wish to start by adding the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the Republic of Ireland. Living in Abuja now, the first thing that I discovered about European-born, both white and black, undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend jobs to support themselves — including the children of millionaires amongst them.
This is not about being rich. It is about raising responsible human beings.
The idea of “I don't want my children to pass through the hardship that I was brought up with” is killing the future of so many children.
You may think you are giving your child the best life, but are you actually preparing that child to survive life without you?
I wish to start by adding the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the Republic of Ireland. Living in Abuja now, the first thing that I discovered about European-born, both white and black, undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend jobs to support themselves — including the children of millionaires amongst them.
It is the norm over there, regardless of how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same — except status-conscious Nigerians.
I also watched Richard Branson, owner of Virgin Airline, speaking on the Biography Channel. To my amazement, he said that his young children travel in economy class — even when the parents, he and his wife, are in upper class.
Richard Branson is a billionaire in pounds sterling.
A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this.
There is no aircraft attached to the office of the Prime Minister in the UK. He travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.
These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward.
Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton, the wife of Prince William, drives? VW Golf or something close to it.
But there’s one core difference between them and us, generally speaking: they — even the billionaires among them — work for their money; most of us steal ours.
If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please, let’s begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and, most importantly, be content and not have to “steal,” which seems to be the norm these days.
We have Nigerian children who have never worked for five minutes in their lives insisting on flying “only” first or business class and using the latest cars fully paid for by their “loving” parents.
This is common among the children of influential civil servants and politicians in Abuja. Their fathers and mothers have turned their offices into the scene of pen robbery. The contractor's file will never move an inch without doing the normal (paying bribes).
Some of the directors and permanent secretaries will collect their bribes in advance.
Driving through some roads in Abuja on Sunday evening is like looking for cheap death. The children of politicians and top corrupt civil servants are always showcasing their parents' ill-gotten wealth with the latest supercars.
It's the time for them to engage in car races, which makes Formula One look like child's play. Nearly all these children are into drugs.
I often get calls from anxious parents:
“My son graduated two years ago and is still looking for a job. Can you please assist?”
“Oh really! So where exactly is THIS CHILD?” is my usual question.
“Why are you the one making this call, Dad/Mum?”
I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and me, chances are that the big boy is cruising around Abuja with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad’s sparkling new SUV, with enough “pocket money” to put your salary to shame.
It is not at all strange to hear of a 28-year-old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria, but “earns” a six-figure “salary” from parents for doing absolutely nothing.
I see them in my office once in a while — 26 years old, with absolutely no skill to sell apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad’s secretary in the office.
Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call, and he is driven to the job interview.
We have a fairly decent conversation, and we get to the inevitable question:
“So, what salary are you looking to earn?”
The answer comes straight out:
“N1,000,000.”
I ask if that is per month or per annum.
“Of course, it is per month.”
“Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job?”
“Well, because my current pocket money from my dad is N1,000,000, and I feel any employer should be able to pay me more than my parents.”
No wonder corruption continues to thrive.
We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birthright.
Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Kano to Ibadan.
Wake up, Mum! Wake up, Dad!
This syndrome — “My children will not suffer what I suffered” — is destroying the future of our children.
You are practically loving your child to death.
I learnt that the children of a former Nigerian Head of State, with all the stolen billions of naira in their custody, still go about with security escorts as wrecks. They are on drugs; several times, because of the drugs, they collapse in places. The escort will quickly pack them up and off they go.
What a life!
No one wants to marry them.
Henry Ford said, “Hard work does not kill.”
We are getting everything wrong in Nigeria now, including the family setting.
It is time to prepare your children for tomorrow. The way the world is going, only those who are rugged, hardworking and smart-working will survive.
The over-pampered children are flinging the assets that their parents left behind to support their fake lifestyle.
Nigeria needs parents who will teach their children discipline, dignity, hard work, independence and contentment. If we continue to shield our children from every form of hardship, we may be preparing them for a future they are completely unprepared to face.
Let’s not leave everything to spirituality and simply say, “God will help us.”
We must learn how to help ourselves in bringing up the children who will be proud of us when we are no more.
Mogaji Wole Arisekola writes from Ibadan..
I also watched Richard Branson, owner of Virgin Airline, speaking on the Biography Channel. To my amazement, he said that his young children travel in economy class — even when the parents, he and his wife, are in upper class.
Richard Branson is a billionaire in pounds sterling.
A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this.
There is no aircraft attached to the office of the Prime Minister in the UK. He travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use.
These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward.
Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton, the wife of Prince William, drives? VW Golf or something close to it.
But there’s one core difference between them and us, generally speaking: they — even the billionaires among them — work for their money; most of us steal ours.
If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please, let’s begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and, most importantly, be content and not have to “steal,” which seems to be the norm these days.
We have Nigerian children who have never worked for five minutes in their lives insisting on flying “only” first or business class and using the latest cars fully paid for by their “loving” parents.
This is common among the children of influential civil servants and politicians in Abuja. Their fathers and mothers have turned their offices into the scene of pen robbery. The contractor's file will never move an inch without doing the normal (paying bribes).
Some of the directors and permanent secretaries will collect their bribes in advance.
Driving through some roads in Abuja on Sunday evening is like looking for cheap death. The children of politicians and top corrupt civil servants are always showcasing their parents' ill-gotten wealth with the latest supercars.
It's the time for them to engage in car races, which makes Formula One look like child's play. Nearly all these children are into drugs.
I often get calls from anxious parents:
“My son graduated two years ago and is still looking for a job. Can you please assist?”
“Oh really! So where exactly is THIS CHILD?” is my usual question.
“Why are you the one making this call, Dad/Mum?”
I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and me, chances are that the big boy is cruising around Abuja with a babe dressed to the nines, in his dad’s sparkling new SUV, with enough “pocket money” to put your salary to shame.
It is not at all strange to hear of a 28-year-old who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria, but “earns” a six-figure “salary” from parents for doing absolutely nothing.
I see them in my office once in a while — 26 years old, with absolutely no skill to sell apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad’s secretary in the office.
Of course, he has a driver at his beck and call, and he is driven to the job interview.
We have a fairly decent conversation, and we get to the inevitable question:
“So, what salary are you looking to earn?”
The answer comes straight out:
“N1,000,000.”
I ask if that is per month or per annum.
“Of course, it is per month.”
“Oh, why do you think you should be earning that much on your first job?”
“Well, because my current pocket money from my dad is N1,000,000, and I feel any employer should be able to pay me more than my parents.”
No wonder corruption continues to thrive.
We have a society of young people who have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a birthright.
Even though the examples I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar patterns can be observed from Kano to Ibadan.
Wake up, Mum! Wake up, Dad!
This syndrome — “My children will not suffer what I suffered” — is destroying the future of our children.
You are practically loving your child to death.
I learnt that the children of a former Nigerian Head of State, with all the stolen billions of naira in their custody, still go about with security escorts as wrecks. They are on drugs; several times, because of the drugs, they collapse in places. The escort will quickly pack them up and off they go.
What a life!
No one wants to marry them.
Henry Ford said, “Hard work does not kill.”
We are getting everything wrong in Nigeria now, including the family setting.
It is time to prepare your children for tomorrow. The way the world is going, only those who are rugged, hardworking and smart-working will survive.
The over-pampered children are flinging the assets that their parents left behind to support their fake lifestyle.
Nigeria needs parents who will teach their children discipline, dignity, hard work, independence and contentment. If we continue to shield our children from every form of hardship, we may be preparing them for a future they are completely unprepared to face.
Let’s not leave everything to spirituality and simply say, “God will help us.”
We must learn how to help ourselves in bringing up the children who will be proud of us when we are no more.
Mogaji Wole Arisekola writes from Ibadan..
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