Last week, while walking back home, I came across a snake. As I bent down to take a closer look, I noticed that the end of its tail had been crushed by passing vehicles, making it difficult for the snake to move.
It appeared calm, weak and helpless. It allowed me to come within just a few inches of it without making any attempt to attack me. For a moment, I felt sorry for it. I thought that perhaps I could help it cross the pavement and move away from further danger.
As I stretched out my hand to pick it up, I suddenly heard the voice of my mother in my head. It was as clear and firm as if she were standing beside me. She shouted:
“Don’t pick him up. He’s still a snake.”
Immediately, I withdrew my hand and stood up. No sooner had I moved away than the same weak and seemingly harmless snake suddenly leapt towards me and attempted to bite me.
That experience taught me a lesson beyond what happened on that pavement. My brothers and sisters, watch out for the snakes in your life.
Some people feed on your kindness, compassion and mercy, yet they will strike at the first available opportunity. They may look weak when they need your help. They may appear humble when they are powerless. But immediately they regain their strength, their true nature will return.
Once someone shows you who they truly are and where they stand, believe them. There is no wisdom in repeatedly offering your helping hand to someone who has bitten you several times. Sometimes, you must accept that you cannot help everyone.
Helping people is good, but helping people without wisdom can be dangerous.
Many of us have suffered because we allowed emotions to overrule experience. Someone betrays us, apologises and cries before us, and we immediately forget everything. We tell ourselves, “Let me give him another chance. Perhaps he has changed.”
There is nothing wrong with forgiveness. Forgiveness gives peace to the heart. But forgiving someone does not mean returning that person to the same position from which he destroyed you. You can forgive a snake, but you do not have to put it inside your pocket.
Life is full of mystery. Many of the people we meet are not actually who they pretend to be. Some people remain around you for years, acting like loyal friends, only because they are waiting for an opportunity.
You may support someone to gain power, only to become the first person upon whom that power is used. You may introduce someone to influential people, help him secure a contract or recommend him for an appointment. Once he becomes successful, he may begin to treat you like an enemy who knows too much about his humble beginning.
I know people who worked tirelessly and spent their money to install their successors in political offices. They mobilised supporters, financed campaigns and defended candidates when nobody believed in them. Yet, after getting into office, some of those successors turned against the same people who helped them.
This happens regularly in Nigerian politics. A man will kneel before his political leader when he needs a ticket. He will call him “my father,” “my mentor” and “my destiny helper.” But immediately he is sworn into office and begins to hear the sirens of government vehicles, he forgets the person who held the ladder for him to climb.
When some people are hungry, they are humble. When they are powerless, they are loyal. When they need help, they answer your call before the telephone rings twice. Once they become comfortable, they may not recognise your number again.
The same happens in business. You may employ someone because he has no job, train him, pay his bills and introduce him to your clients. After learning the secrets of the business, he may leave, approach your clients and begin to compete with you.
Life is not mathematics, where one plus one will always equal two. In human relationships, the person you lift may pull you down. The person whose secret you protect may expose yours in the marketplace. The person you feed today may accuse you tomorrow of never helping him.
The Holy Book tells us that when God saw the wickedness of mankind, He regretted creating human beings, and His heart was deeply troubled. Betrayers exist in every aspect of life—in politics, business, religious organisations, friendships and families, and even between husbands and wives.
The betrayal that hurts the most often comes from someone close to you. An enemy cannot easily reach your back, but a trusted friend can.
Many people do not deserve a chair in our lives, let alone a bed to sleep on. Yet, because we are human, we continue to make excuses for them and give them another chance, hoping they will change. But a leopard does not change its spots simply because you treated it kindly. A snake does not stop being a snake because its tail is injured.
This does not mean we should become wicked or unwilling to help others. Nigeria still needs people who can lift others without demanding anything in return. But kindness must walk together with wisdom.
You can be generous without being careless. You can forgive without becoming foolish. You can love people without handing them the weapon they will use against you.
Always be careful when trusting people. Trust should be earned gradually, not handed over completely because of sweet words, tears or promises.
My mother’s warning remains with me: “Don’t pick him up. He’s still a snake.”
Not every wounded creature wants to be rescued. Some are only waiting to regain enough strength to bite the hand stretched out to save them.
Mogaji Wole Arisekola writes from Ibadan.
As I stretched out my hand to pick it up, I suddenly heard the voice of my mother in my head. It was as clear and firm as if she were standing beside me. She shouted:
“Don’t pick him up. He’s still a snake.”
Immediately, I withdrew my hand and stood up. No sooner had I moved away than the same weak and seemingly harmless snake suddenly leapt towards me and attempted to bite me.
That experience taught me a lesson beyond what happened on that pavement. My brothers and sisters, watch out for the snakes in your life.
Some people feed on your kindness, compassion and mercy, yet they will strike at the first available opportunity. They may look weak when they need your help. They may appear humble when they are powerless. But immediately they regain their strength, their true nature will return.
Once someone shows you who they truly are and where they stand, believe them. There is no wisdom in repeatedly offering your helping hand to someone who has bitten you several times. Sometimes, you must accept that you cannot help everyone.
Helping people is good, but helping people without wisdom can be dangerous.
Many of us have suffered because we allowed emotions to overrule experience. Someone betrays us, apologises and cries before us, and we immediately forget everything. We tell ourselves, “Let me give him another chance. Perhaps he has changed.”
There is nothing wrong with forgiveness. Forgiveness gives peace to the heart. But forgiving someone does not mean returning that person to the same position from which he destroyed you. You can forgive a snake, but you do not have to put it inside your pocket.
Life is full of mystery. Many of the people we meet are not actually who they pretend to be. Some people remain around you for years, acting like loyal friends, only because they are waiting for an opportunity.
You may support someone to gain power, only to become the first person upon whom that power is used. You may introduce someone to influential people, help him secure a contract or recommend him for an appointment. Once he becomes successful, he may begin to treat you like an enemy who knows too much about his humble beginning.
I know people who worked tirelessly and spent their money to install their successors in political offices. They mobilised supporters, financed campaigns and defended candidates when nobody believed in them. Yet, after getting into office, some of those successors turned against the same people who helped them.
This happens regularly in Nigerian politics. A man will kneel before his political leader when he needs a ticket. He will call him “my father,” “my mentor” and “my destiny helper.” But immediately he is sworn into office and begins to hear the sirens of government vehicles, he forgets the person who held the ladder for him to climb.
When some people are hungry, they are humble. When they are powerless, they are loyal. When they need help, they answer your call before the telephone rings twice. Once they become comfortable, they may not recognise your number again.
The same happens in business. You may employ someone because he has no job, train him, pay his bills and introduce him to your clients. After learning the secrets of the business, he may leave, approach your clients and begin to compete with you.
Life is not mathematics, where one plus one will always equal two. In human relationships, the person you lift may pull you down. The person whose secret you protect may expose yours in the marketplace. The person you feed today may accuse you tomorrow of never helping him.
The Holy Book tells us that when God saw the wickedness of mankind, He regretted creating human beings, and His heart was deeply troubled. Betrayers exist in every aspect of life—in politics, business, religious organisations, friendships and families, and even between husbands and wives.
The betrayal that hurts the most often comes from someone close to you. An enemy cannot easily reach your back, but a trusted friend can.
Many people do not deserve a chair in our lives, let alone a bed to sleep on. Yet, because we are human, we continue to make excuses for them and give them another chance, hoping they will change. But a leopard does not change its spots simply because you treated it kindly. A snake does not stop being a snake because its tail is injured.
This does not mean we should become wicked or unwilling to help others. Nigeria still needs people who can lift others without demanding anything in return. But kindness must walk together with wisdom.
You can be generous without being careless. You can forgive without becoming foolish. You can love people without handing them the weapon they will use against you.
Always be careful when trusting people. Trust should be earned gradually, not handed over completely because of sweet words, tears or promises.
My mother’s warning remains with me: “Don’t pick him up. He’s still a snake.”
Not every wounded creature wants to be rescued. Some are only waiting to regain enough strength to bite the hand stretched out to save them.
Mogaji Wole Arisekola writes from Ibadan.
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